It may be unsavory, but divorce is a fact of life for many couples. The quirks and root causes fester and become too much for one partner or the other. A difficult proponent of separation is figuring out a child custody plan that is in the best interest of the child(ren). What comes after, co-parenting can also be physically and emotionally taxing if the two parents can’t co-exist.
Some amount of contention is unavoidable, but if not kept in check, dwindling, and sometimes, an unwarranted lack of respect for your ex can hurt the children. The first tip is short and sweet; keep the children’s best interests at heart during any discussion between you and your ex. The other five are:
- Gain an understanding
Once the divorce is finalized, that’s it. Still wracking your brain trying to figure out why won’t benefit anyone, especially yourself. It will take time to heal fully, but displays of ill or resentful feelings toward your ex will only hinder the success of your co-parenting endeavor. You may still huff at the sound of their name until you’ve fully reached acceptance, but when the children are involved, put the animosity aside.
Commending your ex can go a long way toward rectifying past resentment. Before divorce became the solution, there were traits you adored about your ex. Don’t lie, but search for something good to say about them. Say this compliment to yourself and your ex. Appreciating their effort and parenting ability is an excellent place to start.
When necessary, an apology is a great sign of humility. Don’t let pride get in the way of harmony. If you’re in the wrong, fess up to it. Your children, yourself, your ex, and the relationship between all of you will benefit from honesty. Can you make your ex live up to the same standard? No. But setting a good example should be your priority.
Keeping traditions and predictability alive is vital for your children to accept their new state of affairs. Whether that’s birthday celebrations or another long-lasting tradition, some sense of normalcy aids the transition.
Gain an understanding
We’re all human, and humans make mistakes. But all errors provide an opportunity to learn and grow. Co-parenting can be challenging, and you will falter. Owning up these missteps will provide your partner with a sense of relief and an understanding that this mistake wasn’t intentional.
Communicate to your ex that your screwed up and how you will handle it better next time. You are warranted to hold your ex to the same standard.