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Thoughts on couples therapy before divorce

Suggestions to enroll in couples therapy can be met with mixed emotions. On the one hand, having a neutral third party to help resolve situations is inherently good for a marriage. On the other hand, there is a belief that therapy sessions are simply the precursor to a divorce. This begs the question of whether couples therapy leads more people to end their marriages and whether therapists actually advise troubled couples to divorce.

Therapists, by their very nature, help people work through problems. They generally do so by helping them find answered to unresolved issues that have led them to make questionable choices. A report highlighted interviews with several therapists and found that they try to stay neutral when it comes to questions about whether couples should divorce. They universally said that decisions of that nature should be made by the couples alone.

Even if couples attending therapy ask their therapist directly if they should split up, the therapist is not likely to give a direct answer. Instead, the therapist will direct the conversation towards questions that will help the parties make their own choices.

After all, a therapist is tasked to help people make their own choices through positive influences.

Indeed, there are situations where a therapist may encounter couples where verbal or emotional abuse fractures the relationship. In these instances, a therapist will be a resource for an abused spouse where he or she can seek additional help and legal remedies.

If you have additional questions about couples therapy, an experienced family law attorney can advise you.

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