The break-up of a marriage can be the most emotionally difficult experience one must deal with in life. Some may feel like a complete failure, and that they wish they had additional opportunities to take things back and make the marriage work. Others may believe that a divorce is a God-send, and cannot wait until the decree is finalized so that they may start a new life.
Regardless of how you may view it, there are several things you should know and internalize as you begin the process. They may not change things about your marriage, but they will help you heal and prepare for the future.
Don’t worry about whether you’re doing the right thing – The endless worrying about what could have been, or how you are going to be viewed should be the least of your concerns. Be secure that you did everything you could to keep the marriage going, and that better things are ahead.
The kids are going to be alright – Indeed, divorce is not a pleasant experience, especially for kids. However, children are surprisingly resilient and will be okay once all the dust settles. Nevertheless, they need your support and love; and most importantly, they need to know that the break-up is not their fault. Kids have an uncanny knack for blaming themselves for family break-ups.
You won’t hate your ex forever – This may seem a little far-fetched right now, but the old adage is true. Time heals all wounds. This does not mean that you will be best friends (or that you should be). All that is needed is for you both to be good co-parents.
In the meantime, if you have questions about divorce or need a trusted advisor to help you through it, an experienced family law attorney can advise you.